Dublin Web Summit

Um I sorta thought I would take a bit of Action to publises Moi and BM. There was a conference to which I was invited. A few of the Big Boys were going to be keynoting. Chad Hurley, Jack Dorsey Nicklas Zennstrom, The Founders : Twitter, Skype and Youtube. I couldn’t go because I was broke I asked our local county enterprise board for 200 euros they said they were broke. (How they spent 3.3 million Euros in 24 hours beats me) So I thought I would go up and cause a bit of Mayhem. DublinWebSummit.com is their site I thought I would get their attention so I bought DublinWebSummit.net DublinWebSummit.org DublinWebSummit.biz and DublinWebSummit.info then I regestered DublinWebSummit as a business name with the Companies Registration Office in Dublin. It appears I am DublinWebSummit. So I thought they would be a bit polite. I had my marketing manager with me Declan “Spoons” Walshin a top hat, me in my suit with my Brunel Tie and a big sign saying “Dublin Web Summit is Using 20th Century Technology, (It wasn’t like Our conference in onLand theirs was so yesterday. Brian Cowen (Our Irish PM) and my local TD, Brian Cowen is a BIFFO which is what they call people from Offaly : Big Ignorant Fuckers From Offaly and Offaly County Enterprise Board are Morons and BogOfAllen.com Rules. Thats where I live in Offaly, its the largest and oldest recorded Peat Bog in Ireland. Records start at 200 AD. So of we went. Im not daft so on the way I reported to the local cop shop and told them I was doing a demo. We had a chat, nothing offensive Sir? Nope! Ok Its Your Right! Off we went! : My In my Bright Yellow Flourescent Garda Jacket with BogOfAllen.com on the back and Declan in his top hat. (He plays the spoons Very Very well (been featured on Youtube (Declan Walsh Entertains 2000 hits)) Heres The Press Release:

View this document on Scribd

I went in and asked if they could make an exception for a Poor Disabled Reporter (I have my own registered newspaper) who was a Microsoft Partner, Bizspark start up and over 60. And an Entrepreneur running 80 domains and that officially I was DublinWebSummit. They said No. Declan started playing the spoons and I started giving out 500 leaflets I had printed while doing a bit of a Jig :

Heres The Leaflet:

I had 300 of my OnlyFashion.biz business cards which me Helena and Patrick had spent hours writing BogofAllen.com on the back. So we started our Demo. Serendipitously RTÉ our National Television station were just Leaving and they fimed us. Ha! About 30 minutes later the cops turned up in a big van with blue lights flashing. They nodded to me and I waved and they marched inside to talk with the organisers. Ten minutes later they came out I asked if everything was ok? They said “Carry On Sir” and saluted. hehehehe. Oh the day before I got into more trouble!

STOP PRESS: I HAVE JUST RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM OFFALY COUNTY COUNCIL:

at 8.30 am this morning I placed my business card measuring 8.5cms x 5cms with “Bog of Allen” written on it. I Placed the card in a Cars door sill so that it would not blow away and litter. I told the person in reception that I had Done This. She said ok and can I have one.  At 11.54 am I received a phone call purporting to be  from the council 05793 46800 (They Masked Their ID) that I am to be prosecuted AND Fined  for littering.  My Response : See You In Court. Come visit me in MountJoy as I Wiil not pay!  I spent months, mostly without pay authoring Their Web site (link here in the Internet Archive)  in March 2000 to April 2001 If You look at the source code

meta name=”Author”

content=”pfb”

philp finlay-bryan Typical BIFFO!

Response : I passed a skip grabbed suitable materials and made a big sign the text reads :Official Offaly County Council say BogOfAllen.com is (in very very small letters)to Be FINE (in very very small letter)  D (in very very smal letters ) For Littering. I paraded up and down from 4.30pm to 6pm.

hehehehe

That night I thought Oh they will think Im a cybersquatter and I hate Cybersqutters so I thought I better put together a DublinWebSummit Business plan so I did a bit of the old cogitating and made this!

The next day I went back for the last session, dressed smart casual and asked nicely if I could stand at the back. The chap was less than polite. I tried to pick up a brochure and he screamed “CALL SECURITY” and a woman at the back picked up the phone and demanded Security. I left. Well I hung out for a bit had a few chats. One guy said he only found the place because someone had put my pic on Twitter.

Got Home! They had cut off my Internet because I hadn’t payed my bill. Oh Merde! And I had 20 euros to my name! I needed 248 euros because I was in arrears too. See? I told you I was poor, anyway buying a domain name is far more important than having an Internet connection!….Oh, oops, um something wrong with that sentence…. I did tell you I was mad….? Si i wandered into town and waited for a Prod From God. I looked cool, rich and I was wearing Sunglasses. Hello O2 my mobiles O2. Hmmm wi fi modem! Ok blah blah blah lalala “Well Philip we can do you a six month contract for 59 euros (I only had 20) a years contract for 29 euros (shit) 0r a free one with an 18 month contract. ” Ha! Sorted! Except theres a 15 gig a month limit. I’ve alredy used 4 gigs in 14 hours. 😦
Anyway I ended up making this My DublinWebSummit / Blue Mars Business Plan:

I got DublinHub.net WebSummit.org and the overview site is :

NewThinking.info or its on Youtube but my site is prettier and bigger

Epilogue

Of course if they had let me in I would have asked a question I sorta ask “questions” so I can give a speech……

Hi Everybody!Philipm from Bog Of Allen dot com (one day people will say “Hi Dr. Phil”) . Anyone got a camera phone, an Internet connection and a Youtube account? I have,  someone else film this please and put it on Youtube. Anyone got a Laptop a webcam and Skype? Ok we can stream this live over the net to at least 1 person. Ok. People say Twitter is inane people just talk about their pets and what they had for breakfast. Heres my Tweet. Oh Ladies? Could you write this down? I would ask a man to do it but it involves Thinking Writing and Listening and we all know men can’t multi task (And still get paid 40% more than you!) Anyway my Tweet:

My Cat Eats Toast Freud Loved Cats and Cocaine Merchant Bankers Rule on drug money BeKool dot net with a k #craic #crs

OK? My Cat (my pet) eats Toast,  Toast is really important. When the first black proto human (OMG we are descended from Blacks? Thats worse than being descended from monkeys) was on the African savannah and a lightening bolt set the place on fire he said “Great, Now I can make Toast!” Freud a buzz word – hey guys remember when you were a kid and you saw your mum in a bra and felt stirrings? Oh scary stuff. Freud loved cats he said “Time spent with Cats is never wasted. ” When he discovered Cocaine he thought he had found the answer to all humankinds problems (some people still do) until his best mate OD ed on the Stuff.  Merchant Bankers Rule on Drug Money who bailed out the banks to the tune of over 300 million dollars in cash? Coke dealers laundering their drug money. Be Kool dot net with a k advertises my web site. #craic in Irish,  a bit of craic, any craic means FUN! I spelt it for them in case there were coke users in the audience (crack cocaine) and finally #crs = cockney rhyming slang Merchant Bankers = Wankers.  Wankers Rule ! thanks Be Happy

Sham I never got to deliver it……oh OnlyOwls dot com is really Kool. I might not be around much bandwidth / bills stuff but Ill go busking with Declan earn a few bob… ty

OnlyBlueMars dot com

Visit OnlyBlueMars for the real thing

Lets Be Happy

Rhiagh showed me this. Its Great

The Ravens Kiss The Sky

Please Take A Moment

Is Virtual Reality real?

(polls)

I have spoken about people making a dichotomy of real and virtual. I have made my position clear. I have “told it like it is”. I have invented rvr. Everything is linked now. You post to twitter it ends up on DIGG and Facebook. You favourite a youtube video it ends up on bebo. You post to facebook and yahoo picks it up. Blogs? OMG if i blog anything and click on share it goes to the following :

Twitter, My Space, DiGG, Facebook, Yahoo, Google, stumbleupon, buzzup, de.lio.us, all my 10 other blogs, all my 30 widgets, Blue Mars, ….if there is a god (s)he gets a copy

and no doubt someone somewhere is transmitting this out into space where it will travel on into eternity…. Do you see? Everything is linked now. You cannot distinguish between what is real and what is virtual. The human in me says it is all real. The buddhist says it is all virtual. Whatever the perspecive, it is all one.
I leave you with the tweet I made 8 hours before the world press took it up ” No No Go Go http://OnlyDragons eat Antonomc hamsters ” . See if you can understand the 52 characters (I always thought that 142 characters was way too many.)

I left this Comment with the Washigton Post

I twittered “No No Go Go http://OnlyDragons.com eat Antonomic Hamsters” because BBC Radio 2 said Go Go Hamsters are in trouble because of levels of Antonomy . Dragons Tongues have to be Flame retardant one of the uses of antinomy Go Go Hamsters are Hot for Christmas. Where is the news? I cannot find a link to bit.ly it. this is not a paradox thats Antimony.

Posted by: pjfbncyl | December 7, 2009 2:28 AM | Report abuse

If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ nor no man ever loved

I have posted this a few times to my blogs. I think it is important. I added it to DIGG and facebook more than once. Is This SPAM? I don’t know! Perhaps this video will help you decide. Thanks for your time. P.S. I hope the Japanese appreciate the Ikebana (生け花) flower arranging tips from gaijins.

i dream in html while flying when i should be in my café

REF: Wiki again Berners-Lee in late 1991

Hello Children, Uncle Dude here.  No Glenn I am not your real Uncle. Ok. Now was everyone good for their parents this weekend? Great, you are all Supa Stars. Tiffaney, don’t do that dear, it’s not very nice. Right. Now. Get your work books out. Ok. Please sit down Rock Vacirca if you want to run please go outside, and your resolution is fine. Children CHILDREN! Thankyou. Open a new page and write at the top H T M L ok? H T M L. No V R M L is next week. OK underline it. Very Good  Tim Berners-Lee! Do you have to put forward slashes everywhere? Right. Today we are going to create a web page. Ok, hands up who knows what www stands for? All of you! Ok, well its not really used any more. So you can forget it. Ok. Please copy this down:

<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">

Ok? Yes I know it is unicode or UTF or. Never mind, just write it in in pencil.
Right. Now every web page has a head, a body and a footer. All the clever stuff called
Meta ….Yes Glenn? Pardon me? You mean it indicates a concept which is an abstraction from another concept, used to complete or add to the latter. Yes that’s very true. Glenn are you using an IM? If so please put it away. Where was I? In the body is stuff, the important stuff. You will see that it has an opening tag and a closing tag like this [stuff] then [/stuff] and you put thingys in between so you end up with [stuff] thingys [/stuff] Ok? GLENN TIFFANY What is so Funny? Right Glenn bring your work book up here! NOW! …And What is this? Is this suopposed to be clever? [kick] Your Ass [/kick] Well Glenn it may be in html5 but it has no place in this classroom. Now sit down and pay attention. oh dear o dear. I’m going for coffee. Play quietly please…

Venice > ESC > Mouse Up > Forward Arrow To Fly > Mouse To Guide > Q To Get Off

And nobody told me! Fer Shame On You

The Competion?

Breakfast Is Now Being Served



I Wanted to post this here to round things off but Fox objected
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyZxqOZdrmU

Japan And Second Life

While in Blue Mars I have met a lot of Japanese people. I lived there for four years. the Boss, Glenn Sanders, lived there for eight years. My first wife Megumi-san studied at Tokyo University of Foreign Studies, she got a Firstand we lived in Tokyo, in Minami Azabu. I learnt Japanese at a school and it was very difficult. So I started watching TV. “O susu me shi masu ii mono o YKK” (I could have called this post the “The Cycle of Goodness”)  got me started. I soon graduated to a great show about a wandering group who looked very inocuous. They would arrive at a village that was being tormented by a wicked lord who had a wickid gang of well trained Samurai. The wandering group beat them all up. I used to love the final scene. The leader of the small band who never even bothered to unsheath his sword because he was so good, he used to beat people up with chop sticks or a ladies fan lol, would confront the evil lord. The bad dude was still not giving up. So you know what our unassuming hero did? He reached into his kimono and took out THE EMPORERS SEAL! Yep he was The Dude Samurai. Everybody threw themselves on the floor bowing. The Dude Samarai would look at them and say something like “ok you lot, be good or else”. Then the group would walk off into the sunset. There may have been seven of them I can’t remember. Anyway I learnt to say “Ah so desuka” in twenty different ways with 10 different inflections. From supremely confident don’t mess with me Samarai Dude to stupid peasant (there was a girl samurai of course who was really cute and used to really beat up guys so I learned Girls Japanese as well – female Japanese has different endings some times. I used to use it when I wanted to appear gay lol). I had four books : A Dictionary of Japanese Literary Asthetics which gave me wabi sabi, A dictionary of English-Japanese-English Colloquilisms with which I could totally freak someone out with street slang, Classical Haiku and my favourite, a Kanji Dictoinary. I could look up any Kanji by recognising its root and counting the number of strokes. Wow. In Akihabara there is a paper museum. i made 5 sheets of paper from scratch. I needed it to write my Kanji with a brush. It used to take me about 20 minutes to make enough ink to write a few characters. I was never really any good but you know what it taught me? How wonderful 3D is. You see the weight you put on the brush determines the depth of the stroke. 3D Characters?, The Japanese have done them for 1200 years. ( A tip : learn the strokes to a few kanji, sit on a beach and wait for a wave to go out, write your 3D Kanji in the sand using finger depth. My god I wrote some perfect kanji, perfect, wow, of course the next wave would wash them all away as though they had never been, ….Subarashi desu neh, gomen, hazukashii desu) Sore kara….

There are a lot of Second Life people in Blue Mars. Second Life people love Japan. One of the most popular is Tempura. it was the second place I found in second life. Here is a link to the Tempura Gallery. special thanks to my Girlfriend and to her friend Spirit who turned up at 5 minutes notice.

http://dudestarship.com/japan and you can right click and save or  download the zip file at http://dudestarship.com/nihon.zip The Kanji used? Well you will have to find a Japanese person and ask them. Gomen nasai, watashi no nihongo wa totemo …well it used to be heta (unskilled) but I reckon its pretty subarashii. Hi,  domo, sumimasen!!!¬

Supa Stars – Blue Mars has been postponed ’cause its THANKSGIVING!

STUPID BRIT, VERY SORRY USA!

Thanksgiving or Thanksgiving Day, presently celebrated on the fourth Thursday in November, has been an annual tradition in the United States since 1863. It did not become a federal holiday until 1941. Thanksgiving was historically a religious observation to give thanks to God, but is now primarily identified as a national holiday.[1]

The First Thanksgiving was celebrated to give thanks to God for helping the Pilgrims of Plymouth Colony survive the brutal winter.[citation needed] The first Thanksgiving feast lasted three days providing enough food for 53 pilgrims and 90 Indians.[2] The feast consisted of fowl, venison, fish, lobster, clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin, and squash. However, the traditional Thanksgiving menu often features turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie.

The Obamas

And so on…you can read the Cockney Masterpiece too LOL

An announcent from Blue Mars

As of today we will be incorporating Cockney Rhyming Slang into our chat. To start you off me old china, Blue Mars can be referred to as Supa Stars.

Cockney rhyming slang (sometimes abbreviated as CRS) is a form of English slang which originated in the East End of London. Many of its expressions have passed into common language, and the creation of new ones is no longer restricted to Cockneys

So “

  • Not another frog to cross? Me plates are killing me, wish I could be-a-sport like in Supa.
  • ” Not another road (frog and toad) to cross? Me feet (plates of meat) are killing me. Wish I could teleport (be-a-sport) like in Blue Mars (supa stars).

Please note that only the first word of the phrase is used. Comments please and maybe my trouble will show you her bristols.

Tee Shirt for the first translation of:

‘Allo me old china – wot say we pop round the Jack. I’ll stand you a pig and you can rabbit on about your teapots. We can ‘ave some loop and tommy and be off before the dickory hits twelve.

Oh btw Virtuality Labs dot com is Live and so is La Carissima dot com

Video being coverted as we speak………………..phew AND my minces ache cause Mick took my Gregories by mistake stupid merchant banker

 

And CRS is OK, this from the BBC:

A cash machine operator has introduced Cockney rhyming slang to a number of its ATMs in east London.

People using Bank Machine’s ATMs can opt to have their prompts and options given to them in rhyming slang.

As a result they will be asked to enter their Huckleberry Finn, rather than their Pin, and will have to select how much sausage and mash (cash) they want.

The rhyming slang prompts will be available from five cash machines in east London for three months.

Other rhyming slang prompts people can expect include a speckled hen (£10), while the machine may inform users that it is contacting their rattle and tank, rather than bank.

Ron Delnevo, managing director of Bank Machine, said: “We wanted to introduce something fun and of local interest to our London machines.

“Whilst we expect some residents will visit the machine to just have a butcher’s (look), most will be genuinely pleased as this is the first time a financial services provider will have recognised the Cockney language in such a manner.”

Out of respect Pray Silence For Her Royal Highness, Her Majesty The Queen.

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