Dude Starship Woz ‘Ere

Dude Starship sat quietly ruminating in the space port coffee shop. “The bars won’t be open for another few hours” he ruminated. His Starship was being re-fuelled with new ion-rods in The Soldering Iron workshop. His iPhone was ….somewhere, his Nokia wouldn’t upgrade, his Lap Top was getting Ubuntu installed. “Ho Hum” he sighed. He could “Read-A-Book” whatever that was. Nope, boredom set in. The other virtual worlds held little attraction these days.
“Hey Vanethica, Put on my song ok?” “Sure Dude, but put the mop down ok? You can hear it in the side bar”

Starship Trooper started up

They were good but they were not Blue Mars. He finished the dregs of his coffee, grimaced, stood up and , eschewing the teleport he strolled towards The Soldering Iron. Scotty would be there, Scotty was always there. “If he says “She Canna Take it Jim” I’ll beam him up. Jim?….Jean-Luc would turn in his grave.” The Condo door they had recently installed whooshed at him. Dude smiled “Gotta love that door” he smiled. “Best thing I ever stole from Blue Mars. ”

  • “Hey Scotty! “How’s the Starship? Got those rods installed yet?”
  • Scotty, paunch wobbling, looked up from the console ” She canna take…..” Dude threw a monkey wrench at him. Dude was always throwing monkey wrenches somewhere….. “Hey Dude” Scotty smiled ” looking good, still taking Forever Young meds?”
  • “Where’s my fucking ship Scott?”
  • “Hey, language! A dudette might hear and you know how sensitive THEY are, especially that 176432 etc chick. Its nearly ready. Hey I found this early vid of your ship watch that while I finish off” Scotty turned back to the console and spoke into the pretend mouse he kept for nostalgic reasons “Computa : Play Archive YouTube ref : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqShHy1eiLE

They watched the vid in awe. “Wow man, that was so long ago…………..”

The Soldering Iron shuddered and Dude’s Starship appeared in the launch pad. He patted the sleek Blue Metal hull. “How’s my Girl”

“Ready Dude, Ike ma sho!” The cute Japanese voice never failed to delight him. He keyed the lock and was inside the command module. It looked new, not a MacDonalds wrapper in sight. “Ok kid Ike Ma Sho! ” “Straight To Blue Mars? Shall I use Full Power?”
Dude looked around, wow this was some ship, Not even Beeblebrox’s Heart of Gold was a ship like this. “Ok Hun. Make It So!”
Space bent. And there was a great shudder through the length of the ship. Dude scanned the pexiglass. he looked at the sign hanging in space. “WTF?”

WTF?

Flat Fact : Kilroy Was Here : One of the first sightings was at a Grainger Branch in Baltimore where it was rumored to have been drawn by kilroy himself. False accusations suggest One theory identifies James J. Kilroy (1902–1962)[2], an American shipyard inspector, as the man behind the signature. During World War II he worked at the Fore River Shipyard in Quincy, Massachusetts, where he claimed to have used the phrase to mark rivets he had checked. The builders, whose rivets J. J. Kilroy was counting, were paid depending on the number of rivets they put in. A riveter would make a chalk mark at the end of his or her shift to show where they had left off and the next riveter had started. Unscrupulous riveters discovered that, if they started work before the inspector arrived, they could receive extra pay by erasing the previous worker’s chalk mark and chalking a mark farther back on the same seam, giving themselves credit for some of the previous riveter’s work. J.J. Kilroy stopped this practice by writing “Kilroy was here” at the site of each chalk mark. At the time, ships were being sent out before they had been painted, so when sealed areas were opened for maintenance, soldiers found an unexplained name scrawled.

And:

Flat Fact : Monkey Wrench: n.

1. A hand tool with adjustable jaws for turning nuts of varying sizes.
2. Informal. Something that disrupts: He threw a monkey wrench into our plans.

[Origin unknown.]

FYI:

Flat Fact: Infinite Improbability Drive

The Infinite Improbability Drive is a fictional faster-than-light drive. The most prominent usage of the drive is in the starship Heart of Gold. It is based on a particular perception of quantum theory: a subatomic particle is most likely to be in a particular place, such as near the nucleus of an atom, but there is also a small probability of it being found very far from its point of origin (for example close to a distant star). Thus, a body could travel from place to place without passing through the intervening space (or hyperspace, for that matter), if you had sufficient control of probability.[1]

The Heart of Gold was the prototype ship for infinitely improbable travel. The principle is that as its drive reaches infinite improbability, the ship passes simultaneously through every conceivable and inconceivable point in every conceivable and inconceivable universe (in other words, when one activates the Infinite Improbability Drive, the ship is literally everywhere at once). It is then possible to decide at which point you actually want to be when improbability levels decrease.

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

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